My children are smarter, better looking and taller than I am. That’s okay. However, there are limits — and the fact they are definitely funnier is going too far. It is not only embarrassing, but humiliating as well. For instance, here’s a recent email I received from Susan.
“So, I get it. I’m not as attractive as I used to be. And in my bathrobe on a morning when I just don’t feel that great, I look pretty dumpy. But SCARY? TERRIFYING? A VISION OF UTMOST HORROR? That is apparently what my horse, Kodachrome, thought of me when I toddled out to the paddock in my bathrobe yesterday morning.
Now, you have to understand that Koda is normally an incredibly brave horse — almost freakishly unflappable when encountering things that would send most horses running for the hills. Things dropped right next to him and making loud clattering noises or even bumping into him? Meh, not worth batting an eyelash. Leaf blower kicking up a storm of dust while making a deafening roar? Gee, looks like fun — maybe it would make a good toy. Taking off your jacket while riding him and throwing it on the fence? No problemo —yawn.
But SUSAN showing up in her BATHROBE??? RUN FOR YOUR FREAKING LIFE!!! Yeah sure, the lower part flapped open a bit, perhaps showing more of my fish-belly white legs. And yeah, those same legs could use a shave. But really? You would think the pit of hell had suddenly sprung open and disgorged a fire-breathing monster with ten heads the way he took of and went flying around the place!
Koda did eventually circle back when said monster started speaking with what seemed like his beloved mom’s voice. But his eyes were bugging out of his head, his nostrils flaring, every muscle fiber firing in case the necessity for flight appeared again. Perhaps he thought I was being eaten by the beast and came to see if he could save me.
He did eventually seem to realize that the bathrobe clad me was not a deadly dragon and he approached and let me pet him, but he kept a wary eye on that flappy part of the robe and clearly held the entire getup highly suspect.
Really, Koda — I don’t look THAT bad in the morning…do I?”
—
—
Susan Kauffmann
Lead author, The Essential Hoof Book
TheEssentialHorse.info
(775) 847-0547
Haha, most horse people will get a kick out of this! Our Nappy was the bravest,smartest horse, but take him on a hack down the road and the site of a newspaper rolled out in a plastic sleeve will send get him dancing and prancing. Junior, who would normally be scared of everything (yes, including his own shadow), would just keep on walking along. I miss my horses!
Thanks for reading. Nice to know you are a horse person. What have you been writing lately? Fond regards, Muriel
I know where your daughter gets her sense of humor from. You!
from me the only thing she got is arthritis.
Thanks for reading, Take care.
Sorry to say it Muriel, but you’re in trouble! She’s hilarious!! I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Love you lots. Samantha.
Oh dear, I’m devastated!!! Guess she IS funny after all. (Actually I’m delighted for her. She’ll laugh a lot for the rest of her life. Nothing wrong with that.)
I think it is your bathrobe that was not to your horse’s taste Susan. This above picture and in real life
you are beautiful. May be next time you buy a new robe ask Koda what he thinks of it.
Love your comment French Rebel: Shall pass it on to Susan. Obviously that morning she wasn’t wearing the NICE robe she stole from me. Ha, ha! Thanks for reading…
Superb. Thank you for writing as you do.
Best wishes
Steve
And thank YOU Steve: For reading, You make it worthwhile.
I just could not stop smiling 🙂
Good. That’s what humour is for. Thank you so for reading.