I owe an apology to my mom…..

Muriel2017

How interesting to look back at childhood from this vantage point. I currently see things so differently. Does that mean there’s hope we garner a little wisdom with age? Perhaps… I now realize I owe my mom an apology.

I was the youngest of five children. We lived in Quebec when birth control was illegal so our family wasn’t considered that big.

Ruch Muriel 5 yrs. approx

finally five

I was finally five and expecting to go to kindergarten. All my siblings attended school and I could hardly wait to go too. I was so excited. Woweee!

 

crying girl

they refused to accept me

Mom dressed me up in a starched dress for the occasion and we walked hand in hand to our local school to register. They refused to accept me. Why, I’ll never know.

Perhaps they had too many students or something at the time because the next year they put me directly into first grade. They surely didn’t ask me what my opinion was about their dastardly decision. All I knew was they said NO!!!

childgreendress

I cried….

I howled

I didn’t cry, I howled

My mom probably tried, but was not prepared to argue for too long. I was heartbroken. I cried all the way home. Actually, that’s not at all true, I didn’t cry, I howled in five-year-old frustration and despair. It just wasn’t fair!!!! Everyone else (in my family) went to school. My poor mother tried her best to comfort me, but it wasn’t possible.

Now having raised children myself, I realize what a break those few hours each day would have been for my poor mom. She was probably looking forward to having some time to herself even more than I was looking forward to going to school. Being older today, I can’t help but imagine how disappointed SHE must have been herself.

poormom

The poor soul had to wait a whole year before having me at school

After all, I don’t think we ever had a babysitter — preschool may not even have existed yet, so my mom had to wait a whole year before having a few child-free hours.

I feel I was cheated out of the kindergarten experience I never had, however I also wish I had thought to apologize to mom…..

10 thoughts on “I owe an apology to my mom…..

  1. Maughm, I think if any of us look back, we can likely come up with a few things — some of us more than a few things (oh, so many more…) for which we should apologize to our mothers. I’m just grateful at this point that you didn’t beat the @#!% out of me or just flat out kill me, as I no doubt deserved! ; )

  2. Yes, I suppose you’re right. We all make mistakes, especially when we’re young. I just can’t help but think about how miserable my mother must have been herself that day as she tried so hard, without success, to comfort me. Poor thing…. Love you Susan

  3. Wonderful story! And I can relate to it. I was the youngest of four. I kept asking when I could go to school, too. The answer was always, “ When you are six.” The morning after my sixth birthday, I got up at dawn, washed and dressed and went downstairs to wait. My oldest brother found me sitting on the bottom stair. It was up to him to break it to me that it was March, and I had to wait until September.

    • Yes, my mom sure did have her hands full. And, yes, French was a required subject in order to graduate, but in my opinion they started too late in the English speaking schools – 3rd grade. I think it would have been easier if they started us immediately. Things have changed much there since I was a kid…..

  4. Once again, you’ve brought a smile to my face, Muriel! Thank you for that…and also for reminding me about how different times were, when we were growing up. No play schools, no preschools,no day care, and only the occasional babysitter…just our patient, long-suffering moms caring for us, day in and day out. However, I do think that my Mom actually missed us when my sister & I were both finally in school! Great story from you too, Judy… you must have been disappointed as well, having to wait so long to start school!

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