In July 2007, I received a letter from an insurance company with whom I have a small annuity. They pay me about $230 a year around my birthday, which is in July.
The letter, addressed to ‘Estate of (me)’ says:
We have recently been advised of the death of (me). On behalf of (them) please accept my deepest sympathy on your loss.
In order to determine our requirements we require the following:
1) Date of death
2) Name and address of the person handling the Estate
Upon receipt of this information, I will write you regarding this policy.
Should you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me.
My death at the time was a total surprise to me, and since I did have a concern, I called the guy who signed the letter and asked how come I hadn’t been advised of my death and he had.
I also asked who told him I died. He personally didn’t know because he’s only the guy who writes the letters.
I was deeply saddened to learn of my demise as you can imagine. I still had some mischief in mind.
Was I really dead? Was I a ghost? I tried walking through my bedroom wall, it wasn’t a good idea. All I got for my effort was a bruised nose. Oh, well — I was obviously still here.
Concerned about losing the $200 they’d already mailed me, they had immediately put a stop payment on the cheque I’d just received, signed and deposited at my bank. It had to be replaced later so they at least got to hold on to my two hundred bucks longer. I hope that made up for the disappointment of my not being dead.
Well, here it is 2020, and while looking for something else, I found their old letter. How can anyone throw away a gem like that? When was the last time you were notified of your death?
Well, sorry fellas, I’m still here and have no plans of checking out soon. I intend to stick around and make trouble for as long as I can. I’m not quite done with this adventure yet.