Susan sent me these to give me a chuckle and I thought I’d share them with you.
UNEXPECTED BENEFITS OF WEARING A FACE MASK, FOR WOMEN OF A CERTAIN VINTAGE…
1. Pesky chin hairs? No worries — your mask will cover them!
2. Questionable breath? No one will smell it except you (though you will smell it MORE…)
3. Laugh lines and wrinkled lips? Totally gone from view!
4. You will save a bundle on lipstick.
5. Too menopausal to even fake a smile? Don’t sweat it! No one can see your demonic scowl and gnashing teeth!
6. And speaking of smiling, you don’t need to bother with your dentures in public anymore! Your mouth and chin are hidden and you certainly won’t be eating in a restaurant any time soon!
7. If you go out without a bra, one of two things will happen:
a) People will be so busy noticing and approving your mask-wearing that they will not notice your saggy, free-swinging buzwams.
b) People will be so busy noticing and disapproving of your mask-wearing that they will not notice your low-hanging fruit.
Got any others, ladies?…
Well not to be totally outdone, I added a few of my own:
1. If you wear goggles, they’ll steam up and your vision will be affected. Try placing a (clean) cloth under your mask which can help oodles.
2. Hard of hearing people automatically do some lip-reading. That’s impossible when your mouth is covered. Keep this in mind, be patient and speak up folks.
3. If you have an ugly cold sore, it won’t show if you wear a mask.
4. Zits on the tip of your nose which make you look like the witch of the North will be covered and no one will know you really ARE the witch of the North unless you ride a broom.
5. Remember what our province’s Dr. Henry says: Be calm, be kind, stay safe.
6. Some people may not be able to wear masks. Be kind and don’t judge.
Have you more advantages to mask wearing you can add????? Wear a mask if you possibly can.
P.S. I’m giving you all fair warning. When this COVID:19 is over, I’m gonna hug everyone I see in the street whether I know them or not. I miss hugs most of all.