The toothpaste Monster

Recently a tooth became sensitive and one whole side of it broke off. I came close to losing a tooth which was no small deal. It would have been the very first I’d have lost since I had two-and-a-half wisdom teeth removed in my youth eons ago.

My memory says that was such a traumatic and painful experience, I’d rather give birth to three babies than go through it again. So you can imagine that I was upset by this recent dental diagnosis.


I pleaded, I cajoled, and talked the older specialist who removes teeth into letting me keep it. The man had a different mindset. He carefully checked, found no infection and decided it may last as long as I will. Whew!

I also spent a good portion of my dear children’s inheritance on saving that tooth, but I’ve still got it! I can’t help but think about teeth and the care of same these days, so here’s a brilliant poem on the subject for lucky you.

The toothpaste monster

There’s a monster in my bathroom
He’s an ogre, he’s a ghoul
He eats up my soap and face cream
And the paper off the roll.

And of late, he’s been devouring
All my toothpaste from the tube
Which I’m using three times daily
As hygienic dental lube.

He’s the grim toothpaste monster
A mean toothpaste fiend
Once breastfed on toothpaste
He was never ever weaned.

He eats Colgate’s and likes Tom’s
But the one he loves the best
Is the now three times better
And much improv-ed Crest.

Not having my toothpaste is
A real pain in the neck
How can I face my dentist
At my annual dental check?