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Masks…

Susan sent me these to give me a chuckle and I thought I’d share them with you.

 

old lady face mask

 

UNEXPECTED BENEFITS OF WEARING A FACE MASK, FOR WOMEN OF A CERTAIN VINTAGE…

1. Pesky chin hairs? No worries — your mask will cover them!

whatever works

Whatever works

2. Questionable breath? No one will smell it except you (though you will smell it MORE…)

3. Laugh lines and wrinkled lips? Totally gone from view!

4. You will save a bundle on lipstick.

panties

panties will work

5. Too menopausal to even fake a smile? Don’t sweat it! No one can see your demonic scowl and gnashing teeth!

6. And speaking of smiling, you don’t need to bother with your dentures in public anymore! Your mouth and chin are hidden and you certainly won’t be eating in a restaurant any time soon!

MonaLisa

Here’s what Mona Lisa would look like

7. If you go out without a bra, one of two things will happen:
a) People will be so busy noticing and approving your mask-wearing that they will not notice your saggy, free-swinging buzwams.
b) People will be so busy noticing and disapproving of your mask-wearing that they will not notice your low-hanging fruit.

Got any others, ladies?…

 

Well not to be totally outdone, I  added a few of my own:

1. If you wear goggles, they’ll steam up and your vision will be affected. Try placing a (clean) cloth under your mask which can help oodles.

2. Hard of hearing people automatically do some lip-reading. That’s impossible when your mouth is covered. Keep this in mind, be patient and speak up folks.

3. If you have an ugly cold sore, it won’t show if you wear a mask.

4. Zits on the tip of your nose which make you look like the witch of the North will be covered and no one will know you really ARE the witch of the North unless you ride a broom.

5. Remember what our province’s Dr. Henry says: Be calm, be kind, stay safe.

6. Some people may not be able to wear masks. Be kind and don’t judge.

Have you more advantages to mask wearing you can add????? Wear a mask if you possibly can.

huggingyoungman

I’m gonna hug everyone

 

P.S. I’m giving you all fair warning. When this COVID:19 is over, I’m gonna hug everyone I see in the street whether I know them or not. I miss hugs most of all.

 

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COVID:19 Words for right now…

Dr.BonnieHenry

Dr. Bonnie Henry

I feel fortunate to be living in British Columbia where the number of people affected by the virus is low and we are directed by an especially capable Provincial Health Officer,  Dr. Bonnie Henry. The doctor is effective,  popular, very photogenic and gentle yet firm.

We have a Dr. Henry fan club, songs have been written for her, and because she enjoys shoes (the kind I could never afford) her favourite shoe manufacturer made a limited number of a particular pair she enjoys and sold them to raise money for charity.

the DrHenry shoe

The Dr. Henry shoe which sold like hot cakes.

Dr. Henry will be remembered by the words she leaves us with every time we hear from her: ‘Be kind, be calm, be safe’. Good advice for now…

This is a good time to think about words which can serve us well during these difficult times. (They are from a little book called ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’)

‘Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.’ (Niels Bohr)

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.’ (Herbert Hoover)

‘A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.’ (Bob Hope)

BobHope

Bob Hope 1903-2003

BenjaminFranklin

Benjamin Franklin 1706-1790

‘Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship.’ (Benjamin Franklin)

‘I am an optimist. It doesn’t seem too much use being anything else.’ (Winston Churchill)

‘There is no education like adversity.’ (Benjamin Disraeli)

‘A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: It would be hell on earth.’ (George Bernard Shaw)

Schulz2

Charles M. Schulz 1922-2000

‘Don’t worry about the earth coming to an end today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.’ (Charles M. Schulz)

‘Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.’ (Lord Byron)

‘Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.’ (Voltaire)

‘My life has been filled with terrible misfortune, most of which never happened.’ (Michel de Montaigne)