There was a top-secret executive meeting at my place and I wasn’t invited. The decision was made to select methods with which to best plague the lady of the house — me. If I’d known about this sadistic plot, I would have/could have purchased whatever deadly weaponry it would have taken to eliminate the deadly enemy right off. (Let it be known, these do exist.) But, I had no idea what was in the air and — I’m a kindly sort.
Naively, I thought I could just live with these bothersome intruders until my balcony was replaced and then move them outdoors where they belong. But they would not have it. They obviously like it here.
If you read my posts, you know I’ve been invaded by an army of gnats. They’ve emerged from the soil in the plants I moved into my dining area while the balcony is being replaced. (I had no idea it would take this long.)
Divisions of dive-bomber gnats are now attacking me. Their spies slyly wait until I’m relaxed in front of my computer or TV, and like kamikaze pilots, faster than you can say ‘gnats’, fly up into my nose. In formation, they dive and then fly up — my right nostril. Never the left nostril. Honest! Only the right. And they do this often. Weird, no?
Why this preference? Darned if I know? Do you?
Well, I’m gonna fight back. Next time I’m out, I’m going to the hardware store and get some of that there yellow sticky paper the gnats apparently love and see if I can catch some of their top pilots when they dive-bomb onto what they (may?) think is a landing strip. Then we’ll see WHO means business around here.
And, if that doesn’t work, I’m gonna get my infamous Famiglia after them. Deze guys is real scary.
View from Over the Hill 
Lol, they are really irritating, always moving around you instead of sitting somewhere suitable to them. We also tried apple cider vinegar to get rid of them but it didn’t worked so finally got those yellow sticky strips as you mentioned and those did wonders 😊. All the best 👍
So, if you know so much about gnats. What’s this stuff of flying up my nose? Right nostril only? Honest, that’s what they do. Ha, ha. Thanks so much for reading my nonsense.
I know why they are sending their top kamikaze pilots into your right nostril: They want to get up into your head and destroy the RIGHT SIDE OF YOUR BRAIN!!! Why? Well, the right side of the brain controls certain functions, and the gnats believe that destroying that part of your brain will render you unable to come up with a way to fight them! Here is what one article says about this: “The right hemisphere of the brain controls creativity, imagination, and intuition, giving you the ability to visualize and interpret reality. It helps people to look at the bigger picture so they can better assess problems and come up with the innovative strategies to solve them.” The gnat commander is also obviously aware that you are left-handed, and that the right side of the brain controls the muscles on the left side of the body. Thus, it is clearly part of his nefarious plan to ensure that not only can you not think of a way to wage war against the gnats, but you will be unable to call for help from “la famiglia” on the phone, as you will not have control of your dialing hand! You are up against a ruthless military genius there, Maughm — I feel for you!
Gosh Susan: I had no idea you were such a capable detective, but yer my dotter, so I’m not surprised. Delighted to find out the reason for this right nostril thing of those pesky gnats. In addition, your medical knowledge (pronounced ken-o-l-e-g-e) of the workings of my brain, which I always thought didn’t function at all, is splendid. And, does your comment mean I may really have a brain????? Is there hope???? Love ya, Maughm
Haha, sounds like good battle is taking place here. You can do it! But first you need to prevent them from reaching your brain by plugging your nostrils! This may be essential to your success in winning this battle. That and the yellow strips.
You managed to make me laugh out loud. What will my neighbours think? Plug up my nostrils indeed. Well, maybe that’s not such a stupid idea. They only fly up my right nostril. I’ll try that and let you know. Ha, ha…..
Haha, make sure to plug both so that they don’t try to infiltrate through the left one!
I think I’ll take Jaya’s suggestion and wear garlic wherever I go in my apartment. Since garlic scares vampires away, surely those kamikaze gnats will be afraid of it too.
Or, you could plug your nose with garlic!
You are absolutely hilarious! Just think what we could do if we wrote posts together. You crack me up. Let’s both keep having fun…..
Haha, I was thinking the same thing 🙂
Goodness, can you imagine how crazy that would be?????
WE should try it 🙂
That would sure be crazy. Let’s try it one of these days. Cheers.
Specialist gnats, flying into one nostril?!
Try planting a few cloves of garlic in the pots, annihilates many insects.
Ah, dear Jaya, that may be the answer. Perhaps I should carry garlic wherever I go in my apartment. Garlic does scare off vampires you know. Maybe it will scare off those devilish gnats too.
Giggle, Muriel
Begin with the pots, please! Not sure what/who all you would scare away if you start carrying it around 😂😂
Ha ha Jaya: I could also eat the garlic and breathe it on those nasty gnats. Wouldn’t that be fun. Perhaps it would make them swoon and crash-land.
😁😁
Even though you don’t know it, you’ve got hidden treasure inside your right nostril. Investigate!
Or maybe there is a secret gnat spy rendezvous center up there!
Anything is possible Susan: They are very organized and dangerous.
Clearly! They probably colluded with the construction company, knowing that if they got the company to take a really long time with your balcony, they would have greater access to your right nostril. It is a PLOT, I’m telling you — a CONSPIRACY…probably involving Joe Biden’s son and all those Lefty Pinko Democratic whoozits in Washington!! …Oh my gosh…I think that whackoTrump is starting to rub off on me…thank goodness he’ll be gone SO soon!!! : )
Oh My: Where can I hide? Where can I be safe? They’re out to get me!
I hope you ARE right and Trump WILL be gone soon, but who knows??? Much love, Maughm
Ah, I’ll have to dig into this. Happy New Year Neil.
tooooo funny! kill me if I ever find a cockroach there…
Oh no! I admit I don’t much mind living with those drat gnats, but roaches would be really going too far. I think I’d move then altogether. Yuck! Thanks for reading.
Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever read/heard about such dedicated gnats 😂 Your famiglia looks like a capable army, indeed!
My dedicated gnats are indeed an evil presence and I am thus lucky to have my fearsome Famiglia on my side.
Maybe you could wear your mask indoors until the little devils go back outside, where they belong! Here’s hoping the yellow sticky strips help, and that you’ll get your balcony back very soon!
Thanks for your suggestion Val: I must be patient and wait till I get my balcony back. Then, out to door they go!!!
Last pic epic 😀😅
I agree! I guess my kids are as nutty as I am. They come by it honestly. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. (You’re finally getting the responses you deserve. Thanks for your patience.)
Yes, That pic says a lot 😅
I think they are wonderful and I love them dearly/