On one of my daily walking/shopping excursions, I stopped to buy some lip balm. I put my mask on, entered the drugstore and saw a selection on a rack at the corner of an aisle. An employee was stacking shelves nearby.
Turning the corner, my walker hit the display and I heard a tube fall. I looked on the floor in front, behind, around me, and twirled again and saw — nothing. Then, behind all of the tubes, there it was. Well I thought so.
The employee saw it and said not to worry — she’d pick it up later. I thanked her, selected one to buy, picked up some vitamin B12 tablets, paid for them both and left the store.
It wasn’t until I got all the way home that I discovered the troublesome tube. There it was in full view in my walker’s basket. Is that where it went? I had walked out with that darn thing where anyone could see it, except me.
The rack wasn’t very sturdy and I guess the tube we saw on the floor was not the same one. Oh, dear. I was as innocent as a newborn babe. I had no intention of stealing anything. If I was going to do so, I’d certainly pick something of more value. What would they do to me?
Every time someone rings my bell I wonder if it’s the police? Do they now have a file on me? Do I need a lawyer? Will they put me in shackles and drag me to court? In front of all my neighbours, who will be saying: ‘I knew there was something I didn’t trust about her when she first moved in 30 years ago.’
Will they then put me in jail? How long will I have to serve for a tube of lip balm? Will I get some awful prison guard who hates me on sight who will abuse me until my sentence ends?
Will you send me cigarettes? No, I don’t smoke but don’t they send cigarettes to everyone in jail?
Ha Ha Ha, don’t worry, u will be alright. I loved those cartoons 😀
Thanks for your assurances. Didn’t know if I should be hiding out from the cops.
If youz guyz believe dis story, I gotta bridge up in Brooklyn I’d like ta sell ya. We don’t call dis dame “Light Fingers Lil” for nuttin! She’s lifted more loot than my cousin Mac up in Sing Sing, only she gets away with it on account of she’s got that whole “little old lady” act nailed. Lil don’t need no walker — it’s all parta her scam! You should see her dancin at the nightclub after one a her big scores. And she looks pretty damn good doin it, too! So don’t buy dis “innocent as a newborn babe” routine. Lil’s a PRO, so you broads watch yer jewels and you guys keep a hand on your wallet when she’s around!
Ah darn it Susan: You blew my cover! That’s what ya get for being a good mudder and a good example. Whoosh! Giggle, love, Maughm
You both are a hoot! 😂😂
You’re right Jaya: Susan makes me laugh often for sure, but she’s also been coming to my rescue with the new ‘better’? system WordPress introduced. Whew! I get stuck each time. Stay well.
I’ll post bail for you!
What a relief. For the first time since this ‘theft’ happened, I’ll be able to sleep tonight knowing you’re there for me.
And back to you. Stay healthy — especially in case I need you.
Hahaha…they say it starts small, you know…first a lip balm here, then a bag of gumdrops there…I’d be worried that now friends I’ve visited who’ve had things go missing might start to put two and two together…
Now let’s see. How much IS two and two worth? Four years behind bars???? Chuckle.
Too funny! When you go out again, will you returned it?
Are you kidding, Ariela? There is an A.P.B. out for her — her “Canada’s Most Wanted” mugshot pasted on every street corner. She can’t go out with all this heat!
Ha, ha Susan: Trying to keep the cops after me, are you????? Love, Maughm
No Ariel: I was too embarrassed. Thanks for reading and for the honour of following my blog. I look forward to following yours too and learning more about you.
Thanks so much!
Thank you! Stay well….