It was her own fault. She shouldn’ta done it. She should know better. Everyone knows red is MY color. My exercise classmates know I always choose the red band. Everyone I know knows I like red. So why did she do it? Do what, you ask???
Daughter Susan visited on her way home to Nevada from Edmonton. That was sweet. I
love that she came. But she made the error of turning up at breakfast in a red shirt. Red. RED! I saw red like a bull in the ring sees the toreador swinging that red cloth right in his face.
Not only was the shirt RED, it was beautiful and had sleeves reaching down to her elbows. I’d been looking, without success, all over for summer tops with sleeves long enough to cover my flabby arms. They’re difficult to find here.
They have more choices in the U.S. It’s understandable — they have a much larger
population, but that doesn’t help me in my search for tops. I liked her shirt. I wanted it. I took the darn thing off her back to try on, and wouldn’t give it back. Then Susan made another logistic error.
‘I’ve got another just like it in blue,’ she admitted, perhaps realizing I’d get to see it anyway. I wanted that one too, even though it wasn’t red. I grabbed it out of her suitcase. ‘What will I wear?’ she pleaded. I didn’t respond.
We’re creative. We can think on our feet. I gave her a plastic London Drugs bag and she fashioned an attractive top out of it.
It was a brilliant idea. We two created a fashion statement which can save the planet.
As soon as they see it, fashionistas by the thousands will be copying this new trend. New York’s top designers will be scouring the world searching for usable plastic bags. As this brilliant, beautiful design spreads, they may even have to send ships out to sea to pick up those thousands of plastic bags floating in the ocean, where they create havoc. Do remember, you saw it here first!!!
The ensuing battle was well-fought — and somewhat hilarious. We got carried away. It was madness and uncontrollable laughter. Linda, Susan’s friend (and probably now my ‘former’ friend) snapped away with her camera, in-between gales of giggles, and these ‘beautiful’ photos are the result of the mom-versus-daughter fight.
Who ended up with the shirts? Waddaya think? Me, of
course. After all, I do pull some weight. I’m Susan’s ‘maughm’ and she loves me, though sometimes I’m sure she wonders why. In the end, she did forgive me.
Thank you Susan. I’m enjoying my new shirts, especially the RED one. I also loved your visit and spending time with you. I’m convinced my dear, you’re as nutty as I am, though you came by it honestly — and I love you.
I blame Keno, my mom’s long-time exercise instructor, for my loss of these shirts. Maughm is just TOO STRONG, and I couldn’t wrestle them out of her grubby little hands!!! Imagine my chagrin at having to parade through the Vancouver International Airport wearing a London Drugs bag. Tell me, people — what kind of a mother does that to her own kid?
Of course the first thing I did when I got back to Reno was head over to Macy’s to see if I could replace the pilfered shirts. They had the blue one, but no more red. I’m thinking that GATTAR (Goddess of All Things That Are Red) simply does not want me to have a beautiful shirt in the sacred color. My mother has always been a favorite of that snooty-pants goddess, but I have obviously not been deemed worthy.
In all seriousness, I was actually THRILLED that my mother actually WANTED something that I could give her. She is notoriously difficult to buy a present for, as she genuinely doesn’t want anything (normally) and works regularly to “declutter” her place. So, knowing that she is enjoying these shirts gives me great pleasure.
And, truth be told, I walked out of her place with an absolutely gorgeous sweater that she gave me, as well as a brand new T-shirt that I am sure will get plenty of wear, not to mention several things from Mark’s Work Wearhouse that she insisted on getting for me too.
Even better, I now get to TEASE her for the rest of eternity about the shirts she “stole” from me! We had so much fun taking those photos, which I will also treasure, all the more as they were taken by my very special friend Linda.
Thanks for the post, Maughm — you are a HOOT! Love, Dottur.
Ah Susan: For the first time, I find myself going back to my own post to look at those hilarious photos again and again. I laugh again each time I do.
I’m also thrilled that Linda, who also gives the greatest hugs, was here and could use her skills to take the photos. How wonderful that you are able to be as silly as I can be — we sure had fun. Thanks for your thoughtful comment. You are wonderful. Love, Maughm
Thanks Jaya: I loved writing it.
Muriel, I’ve been wearing plastic bags for years!
Hi Neil: I knew it! I knew someone like you would come along and make this claim. You can’t trust anyone! Ha, ha.
Priceless post! And you do look lovely in red, Muriel….
I hope that Susan found a top to wear on the trip home! (not that I don’t admire the plastic bag creation;).
I had such a hoot with Susan on this just too short visit, I’ll never forget it. She’s certainly a chip off the old block — as nutty as her mother. And, Linda, who is a gifted photographer in her own right, managed to get these photos in spite of gales of laughter. Imagine…..
Muriel, This is the most comical, hilarious, humorous, absolutely funniest post I have ever read. I laughed so loud alone in my room that our housekeeper reported me to the “boss” my daughter saying, ” your dad is hysterical, please check on him”. As a subtitle to your post I would suggest calling it THE BULL FIGHT. You both, Susan and you, are a great Mom and Daughter team. Linda did an excellent job as a photographer. I could imagine her cracking up while photographing the two of you. Joe
So glad it made you laugh Joe: It was intended to. I laughed while I was writing it too. Yes, Susan is a great sidekick, especially when we’re feeling silly. Keep enjoying each day….